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Relationships: Why are some men attracted to unavailable women?

Feb 2, 2021
Relationships

Although a man may have the desire to be intimate with a woman, he can continually end up with women who are not available. Having been with several women who are like this, you may find that this area of ​​your life causes you to experience a great deal of frustration.

If you looked back at your life, you could see what this is, something that has been going on for several years, or it could have been going on for a few decades. No matter how long it has been going on, you most likely want this area of ​​your life to change in no time.

A false impression

When he met these women, he may have come to believe that he had finally found someone who was ready for an intimate relationship. Then it would have been as if the lights were green, only for him to discover that this was just a mirage.

Consequently, you may have had a hard time, finding it difficult to understand how you were fooled again. At this point, he might have ended up blaming the woman he was with, seeing her as just one more woman who has wasted time.

At first

If you thought about what it was like when you first met these women, you might think how interested they were. From the beginning, they would have shown a lot of interest in him.

Besides being happy to spend time with him on a regular basis, they may have also been very affectionate. One thing that I could also highlight is what your sex life was like, this being something very satisfying.

Two extremes

To use an analogy, it would have been as if at one point they were in the Sahara desert, while at another, they were at the North Pole. Moving from one climate to another would have been difficult for them.

However, it may not always have been that quick as there may be times when it happened in a more gradual way. This could have meant that it took them a little time to realize what was going on.

For example

So the woman may have found time to see them a few times a week and then this started to change over time. As time passed and things became more serious, he may have discovered that she was rarely free.

In addition to this, you may have almost lost interest in sex over time. Then she would have gone from being warm and available to being cold and out of reach.

A clear sign

However, what can be clear is that just because a woman is strong at first does not necessarily mean that she is available. In fact, this can be a clear sign that it is not available.

If a woman was really ready to be intimate, she would most likely take the time to get to know a man. With an open heart, you wouldn’t want to let anyone into your life.

A big difference

For her to become strong immediately and even open to having sex as soon as possible can show that her heart is closed. Undressing is one thing, but it is another thing for someone to reveal their true self.

However, what would have made it difficult for him to realize this is if he were caught up in what was happening. Then his emotions would have been all over the place, making it difficult for him to think clearly.

What’s going on?

A man like this might come to believe that this is how women are; the downside here is that this would mean there isn’t much you can do. This area of ​​your life will be completely out of your hands.

What cannot be overlooked here is that he is the person who keeps showing up, which means that he is participating in what is happening. If you were to delve into yourself, you might find that the reason you keep breaking up with women like this is due to the fact that you are not emotionally available.

Two levels

Consciously, then, you will have the desire to find a woman who is not available, but unconsciously, you will not want to get too close to a woman. The women he attracts will then reflect what is happening inside him on a deeper level.

The reason you cannot see this may be due to the defenses you have built over the years; These defenses will keep your feelings at bay. If these defenses were removed, you could soon realize why you experience life this way.

Way back

During his early years, his mother may have ended up getting close to him, suffocating him in the process. This would have made him feel violated, but there was nothing he could have done about it.

Closing down emotionally would probably have been the only way for him to handle this pain. This would have made him lose touch with his emotional self, but it would have been a small price to pay.

Awareness

Deep inside, getting emotionally close to a woman will be seen as something that will cause him to lose himself, to be annihilated. Your conscious mind will experience a great deal of anger and frustration when experiencing life in this way, but for your unconscious mind this will be what feels safe.

If a man can relate to this and wants to change this area of ​​his life, he may need to seek outside support. With the help of a therapist or healer, you will be able to work through your inner wounds.

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